Monday, June 09, 2008


Ben: You know the abandoned places in japan website? Well, it turns out this place is local to me! Someone told me how to get there today. I'm going to check it out...
Dave: Cool!

D: Hmm. Decaying, abandoned hospital. Played silent hill?
B: Noooo!
B: No no no!
B: No zombies
D: They only show up on video
B: So ill leave my camera at home
D: Then you won't be able to see what's biting your neck...

B: Hmm. I need some disposable companions.
B: I'm a main character. I have to survive. At least until I get to sacrifice myself heroically to save the female lead at the end.
D: You could be the guy in the opeing scene who gets dismembered spectacularly to set the mood...

B: If I'm the prelude, then the main movie is you coming over to find out what happened to me...
B: Maybe the climax of the movie is you facing the zombie-boss, who is actually me.
B: appealing to my last shred of humanity
B: causing me to not eat your brains, and instead hold back the zombie horde while you get away, before detonating the explosives.
D: That works pretty well for me...

B: I'm not sure if ill go up today yet - the weather is looking dicey, and I don't want to get stranded there by a sudden typhoon...
B: It's about 40kms from here, out in the middle of nothing but mountains and forest.

D: Man, you ARE starring in a horror flick!
D: Surely you can think of some compelling reason why you need to be in the area
B: Why do I need a reason. There's nobody around, right? right?!
D: Is it a nuclear powered hospital? Maybe the reactor is about to blow and only your unique blend of technical expertise and wisecracking dark edged humour can cut through the red tape in time to save the beautiful Japanese zombie princess!
B: Ooh! I like the sound of that!

B: But then, maybe my parents didnt tell me everything about my origins...
D: Aha! mystery man! Maybe you are half human, half zombie, with the powers of both.
B: and a strange compulsion to visit a decaying research facility out in the middle of nowhere in Japan...

B: Drawn there, by who knows what
B: But its stronger now...
B: Don't you see! I have to go!
B: It's my only chance to understand these dreams!
B: To end this nightmare! once and for all!!

D: Every hundred years the call goes out, and the undead hordes converge, making their horrid shambling way to the ancient gathering grounds. There they hold the worlds biggest dance party / experimental performance art show, and the chosen one is crowned with the mysterious and eldritch Brain Helmet.
B: Braaaaaains!!
B: I went to a reggae festival yesterday. does that count? I don't even like reggae...

D: Were there zombies?
D: Also, reggae vs Japan? who won?
B: Haha. It was a good match. I think I have to give this one to Japan, though. Reggae put up a strong effort, but in the end, it wasn't really a fair fight.
B: Was a good vibe tho. Lots of fun on a beautiful day. Good for throwing frisbees and running around.
B: I mean who can compete with Japanese kids high on a sunny day, singing along to English tracks that they only have a sketchy understanding of the meaning of...

B: The Beatles... "A rub is all you need!"
B: Which was spot on if you ask me...

B: Do you think my chances of survival would be improved by downloading and watching Resident Evil before heading out to this abandoned research facility?
D: Definitely. Also the House on Haunted Hill.

B: If I die out there, I'm so coming back to get you.
B: Your brains are soooo sucked out, and your ancestors haunted till the end of their days...
D: :D
D: So long as I pass the video tape of your demise on within seven days I should be ok.

B: Oh no. You don't get out of it that easily. In 20 years time, you and all your classmates are going to get together for a reunion and im going to kill you all one by one.
B: AFTER I've eaten your brains
B: THEN you'll all come back to life 24 hours later, and I'll take you out and give you to the hillbillies...

D: Will I survive, a broken man, to tell my tale to any who will listen through a haze of turpentine fumes?
D: In between paying for my next bottle of unleaded by doing hedge-trimming jobs with my stump-mounted hand chainsaw
D: it makes picking your nose unbelievably hard

B: Yeah. Maybe. But every 5 years, you'll turn into a zombie werewolf and roam the streets until you are captured by a research facility and taken to the secret underground lab somewhere outside chichibu, japan...
B: And so on for 5 or 6 sequels...
B: Then they'll make a movie about your sorry tale, but the cast of the movie will start dying in unexplained accidents.
B: So you better hope I come back in one whole, human, happy piece.

D: Haha! Well, ok. At least I hope the incubation period is long enough that I get to see the photos...
B: I'll post them to flickr with my last human gasp.
B: Hmm. Maybe I should wait until just before sunset before going up there.

B: Seems like the smart thing...
D: Make sure your headtorch hasn't got too much charge in it, it would be a shame to waste the opportunity of navigating around using only the flash on your camera
B: Ahh good plan. I'll just leave it switched on for a few hours now.
B: And I'll make sure the scooter is almost out of fuel too...